Ash Wednesday

Extra post today.

As I wait for the Ash Wednesday church service, I have plenty of time to reflect on the day's events and anything else that may pop into my head arbitrarily. At this moment, I am perplexed why some make life so difficult and stressful. There are multiple clear paths and several options to turn to or mix and match.  Yet some people create a firestorm of a shit show and then wonder why. You would think after making the same or similar mistake over and over, one would learn. Is this a personality thing?  Is it a need for attention, even hostile or stressful attention?  Is it a need for drama and then complain about it?  How does one break the cycle? I would think after a while, it would get old, and the desire to move forward in a different direction would kick in.

I sometimes think of some of my mistakes. And why I am no longer committing the same mistakes. What caused me to move forward? I would say for the past 20 years, I have been in a much better place.  It's like I grew up in my early 30s. But in my 20s, there was nothing crazy there either. I watched my friends and would tend to learn from them.  And boy, am I grateful they taught me some important lessons. Don't get me wrong, I made my share of mistakes, but I am wise enough to make them once, grow, and learn from them. So I know it can be done. Seriously, if I can do it, it must be relatively easy. (I say this in relative jest.)

My biggest issue is my temper and the ability to rip through someone like a knife with my words.  And because of this, I have gotten quite good at holding back.  But if someone is lucky enough to drive me to the place of anger, which only a few have witnessed, then I would say it was well-deserved.

I do ask for patience and words of guidance and thought often.

Life can be beautiful despite the stress and chaos of the world around us.

My husband has the innate ability to let things roll off his back like water on a duck.  He can see and hope for the good and best in someone.  Even in times when it hurt him, he would still maintain a degree of peace.  He impresses me every day. And while I have mentioned my hubby, I want to share how proud I am of his physical and mental strength. It is something I do not think I could handle. 

Be blessed to all who read this and their loved ones.

Be happy, healthy and safe.