Conquering Negative Influences

 I went through many title options before finally landing on this title.  

Some examples of titles I considered:

• Navigating Mental Resilience
• Mastering Mental Health
• Building Inner Strength
• Thriving Amidst Challenges
• Overcoming Adversity
• Cultivating Mental Toughness
• Thriving Despite Setbacks
• Harnessing Mental Resilience

Moving on...

People who criticize reflect their own inner turmoil and not a genuine assessment of you. Recognizing this will help you detach their comments from your self-worth. You've heard it before: It is far more about where they are in their own life than anything you're doing wrong. Accept that it's them, not you. Read that again.

Not every annoying comment is worth a fight. Ask yourself if this will matter in an hour, a week, or a month. Conserve your energy for battles that actually impact your life. In other words, let the small stuff go and preserve your own insanity. Sometimes, picking the path of least resistance is an act of self-care.

Setting boundaries is extremely important. Teach people how to treat you. If someone continuously disrespects you, communicate your boundaries clearly and confidently. Do not be afraid to assert yourself. You deserve to be treated with common decency. There is nothing wrong with confidently saying to someone, "I am not comfortable discussing that," or "Please do not speak to me that way."  Then, be consistent with your boundaries.

This is a big one. Bullies and trolls thrive on getting a reaction. Don't let them provoke you and deny them the satisfaction of your anger. Ignoring them or responding with detached neutrality disarms them completely. I prefer not to add fuel to their flames and let their negativity go rather than possibly adding to it.

Focusing on what you can control is essential. You cannot control other people's words and actions. However, YOU CAN control your response. Focus your energy on YOUR goals, thoughts, and self-improvement. You do not need to fixate on other people's negativity. Your inner peace is far more important and influential than your opinions.

I am learning to do this one: Practice self-compassion. Don't beat yourself up if you slip up and allow someone else to get to you. We all have bad or off days. Acknowledge that it is tough to be the target of negativity, remind yourself of your worth, and forgive yourself. Be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack.

Spending time with positive people matters. Who you keep in your company is important. Remember when your mom would say, "Birds of a feather flock together?"  I wholeheartedly believe this. Look for friends who build you up and do not engage in negativity, gossip, put-downs, etc. Surround yourself with positive energy.

I am not sure I can personally do this 100%, but I try. Not allowing people to get to you becomes easier with practice. Think of every rude or critical encounter as a mini-workout for your mental resilience. Let things—especially comments from a stranger—roll off your back like water on a duck. Work on building up a thick skin.

This is something I do and do well. If you want to 'disarm' a rude person, pretend not to hear them. That will force them to either repeat their insult or let it go. I usually say in a rather aggressive and smiling tone, "Can you repeat that?" I say it loud enough to put the spotlight on them and make them feel uncomfortable. Don't engage.

Sometimes, you must walk away or shut off your computer, iPad, phone, etc., and remove yourself from the negative situation. You have zero obligation to stand there and take the abuse. There is nothing wrong with telling the person in front of you, "I am going to step away from this conversation now," and move on. As for the keyboard bullies, turn it off and take a break, block them, and don't waste your time with them. Again, refrain from engaging.

I have said this to many of my friends and have had to remind myself I need to hear it too occasionally: "This is a dot on the radar of life." What you are going through is temporary, so ask yourself if it will matter in a month or a year from now. Don't make a long-term decision based on a short-term, temporary situation.

Things will get easier, so try to focus on gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude. Look for the beautiful things in life. Go for a walk, enjoy the sunshine (or rain), and look for flowers, squirrels playing, etc. There is so much to see and experience versus the negativity people throw at you.

Be happy, healthy, and safe.

*Pictures from Canva