I am preparing for my trip with my cousin to Arizona to see our grandfather. We will be gone for four days. It will be nice as we will take this opportunity to not only see and spend time with Don but we will also take time to decompress.
My mom had a doctor's appointment today, and the visit went well, but the attitude I received was so hard. My mom and I were not close initially, so this brought on a lot of resentment on my side. I feel like there is no reprieve, so I am excited about going away for a few days. I miss Rob and Lucy when I go on trips, but the rest I get is priceless.
I am not sure how to explain what I will write next as I am unable to understand it myself.
I will be 59 this year and feel like I haven't accomplished what I had hoped or done, the things I dreamed about as a young girl and teenager. Yet, when I think about what is missing or what accomplishments I've let go of, I cannot say it.
I have found solace in my posts on Instagram, which has brought some fun for me, but I feel like I am not where I would like to be with my IG success.
What is this? Is this a midlife crisis? Is it depression? I cannot figure it out. And that bothers me because I am not feeling personally fulfilled and don't understand why.
I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful home, and a cute and sweet Lucy-goosey. I have good health, but it could be improved. I am not getting the amount of exercise I should be doing daily or weekly, and I can change that.
So what is my problem? What is this lack of or feeling of missing something in my life? Is it a phase?
I haven't been sleeping well and have noticed my teeth are clamped down so hard that my face and jaw hurt when I wake up. I have had teeth-grinding issues for more than 20 years, but recently, it has been severe.
I have a good life, so this feeling of inadequacy is unsettling.
Be happy, healthy and safe!
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