Life is Messy . . .

Finding Peace Amid Chaos

Sometimes, no matter how much we plan and strive for peace and tranquility, life throws us curveballs that test our patience and resolve. This year, I’ve been focusing on wellness, self-care, and living a more focused and purposeful life as I turn 59. I’ve been trying to tune out the negativity of the world around me and create a space filled with positivity and growth. But as we all know, life can get messy.

In March, we took in a family member. They had been struggling at home and we knew they needed a safe space to decompress. For the first month or two, we let them chill, giving them the grace and space to recover from their tumultuous experiences and the challenges they faced with their parents.

At first, it seemed like they were adjusting well—especially when they started doing well in school. But something shifted when this school year began in August 2024. Their grades started slipping, and not just by a little bit. They've lied to us about where they’ve been, what they’re doing, and they’ve been breaking curfew almost every night. 

There have been many breaking points over these last few months, but two very hard ones in just the last week. However, last night was my final breaking point. I had warned them about this for weeks, letting them know that if they couldn’t respect me, my husband, and the household rules, they would need to find somewhere else to go. Despite all my warnings, they continued their actions and lies. Their complete disregard for the guidelines we’ve set has made it clear that they no longer want to be part of the structure we’re trying to provide.

The lies and manipulation are exhausting, and they’ve robbed me of the peace I’ve been striving to build. We’ve had multiple conversations about the importance of truth, respect, and taking responsibility, but they haven’t shown any signs of wanting to change.

And here is where I have to be brutally honest—with myself and with you. I haven’t responded well. I’ve reached a point where I feel like I can’t reason with them anymore, and my reactions have been harsh. My words have been negative, and instead of guiding them, I’ve found myself lashing out in frustration. I’m not proud of it, but the constant lies and manipulation have pushed me to the edge. I feel overwhelmed and at a loss for how to handle this situation constructively. It’s hard to find peace when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

So here I am, in the middle of this messy, frustrating, and stressful situation, reflecting on how life doesn’t always follow the script we write for it. No matter how much I try to focus on my wellness, self-care, and purpose, life reminds me that chaos can sneak in when you least expect it.

But maybe this is part of the journey. Maybe peace isn’t about eliminating all the chaos but learning how to find calm within it. I’m realizing that even in the middle of this storm with my family member, I can still strive to react differently—even though right now it feels impossible. And while I haven’t found that balance yet, I’m trying to remind myself that it’s a process, and every moment gives us a new opportunity to choose a different way.

If you’re going through something similar—whether with a family member, a friend, or even yourself—just know that you’re not alone. Life is messy for all of us. The important thing is that we keep striving for peace, keep showing up for ourselves, and keep pushing forward even when things get hard.

As I move forward, I’m reminding myself that peace isn’t a destination—it’s a choice we make each day, even when we fail, even in the messiest of moments.

Be happy, healthy and safe!